Flying the nest...

So I'm going to Romania in 9 days!

I'm going to make a gap year blog to store memories, reflect on what God's been doing in my life and of course what I've been doing and learning.

This is a big thing for me. Originally my mum and dad were totally against me doing this gap year but now, mum's all for it and dad's just accepted the fact I'm doing it! I can't believe how quickly the summer has gone in, it's crazy! 18 weeks ago was my last day of school! Doesn't feel like it, and in 2 days I'm leaving home for 7 weeks. I keep telling people in exactly 2 months I'll be back home, which is true, I'm back on the 9th November.

I'm so excited to see what's going to happen, what God's going to challenge me to do. After all, I felt like He was telling me to get out of my comfort zone, so this is what I'm doing! Leaving home for 7 weeks to serve others and share the love of God through actions. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous! There's a lot of scariness that comes with this, I've never been to Romania before, I have never been away from my parents or home for this long and I don't know the majority of the people who are going on Xplore. I have the comfort of knowing 3 people and knowing that most of the people are from Northern Ireland (so I'm told).

I might still update this blog, just when I feel like rambling about something not about the gap year, but I don't know how often that'll be! For now, it's a cherio for this blog but onto the next! I'll post the link to facebook as per usual and see what comes of it!

Thank you for reading my sometimes controversial opinions and rants ;)

Charlotte :3

Hmm... Controversial!

As you all know I am indeed a Christian which means that yes I do read the Bible (not as often as I should) and I try and follow the guidance laid out for me. I often find myself forming my own opinions on things and then reading the Bible to find out that actually that's not really what I should think. I mean, this makes Christianity sound really controlling and like it tells you what you should think BUT really in 2012 is some of the Bible really relevant?! I'm only pondering this because I've been looking into Mathew chapter 5 and came across some divorce stuff. In this day and age divorce is pretty common. Let's face it! The Bible has some pretty strong views on the subject and I apparently have different views oh dear.

So after reading Mathew 5: 31-32 which says:

"Remember the Scripture that says, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him do it legally, giving her divorce papers and her legal rights.'? Too many of you are using that as a cover for selfishness and whim, pretending to be righteous just because you are 'legal.' Please no more pretending. If you divorce your wife, you're responsible for making her an adulteress (unless she has already made herself that by sexual promiscuity). And if you marry such a divorced adulteress, you're automatically an adulterer yourself. You can't use legal cover to mask a moral failure."

Please don't skip over reading it because it's vitally important to what I'm going to talk about for the next few lines or so. Go on, read it! You might even find that you don't agree with it. 

In fact, most people don't agree with it. I know many people who's parents are divorced and are re-married. I'm totally cool with it! I'm not going to pry on why they got divorced because that's just rude and may upset people, plus why would I want to know? According to this passage, anyone who marries the woman who is divorced, becomes an adulterer himself. This is the part I totally disagree with. I really get that if you're going to get married you should stay together until death do you part. I'm a firm believer in that but, if you are to get divorced then should you be a single pringle the rest of your life?! I'm sure if I ever got divorced not planning on it, I would like to think I could get re-married and not be considered an adulteress.

Now, reasoning for ending a marriage is between the two people involved but, what is being said here is that the legal termination of a marriage that God has set out is being abused by those who simply cannot be bothered to work out their problems. Apart from those who have committed adultery (NIV). Harsh? This is where I find where to stand difficult. If trust is broken then it's pretty much gone forever. If you've ever been cheated on or betrayed by your best friend you'll know what I'm talking about! It's pretty darn hard to regain trust! Ending marriage for other reasons is an iffy subject, as in you aren't attracted to the person anymore. Well couldn't you have worked that out before marriage? Maybe the ''honeymoon period'' is just over? I'd say work on it before ending it! And if the conclusion comes that you just can't work then end it. There's no point in being unhappy!

This is a really difficult subject but on the whole getting re-married subject, I don't know if I entirely agree! Maybe I need to study this a bit further and look for different passages and verses to get a whole image rather than two verses!

Hope I haven't offended anyone :)

Charlotte :3

One Month Diary!

It's been a while!

So I've now been keeping my journal for a month exactly now! Started it on the 18th July and it's now 18th August! It kinda seems like ages ago that I bought it but it's only been a month! A lot has happened this month, I've met a bunch of new people, gap year has been confirmed, cancelled my university places, applied for university in 2013! A lot has happened! I've been out pretty much every night, no not drinking but hanging out in my car or going to the cinema or on walks. At the start of my diary, there's some horrible things written down, not about other people but about how I was feeling... emotionally. I'm going to start a new paragraph otherwise this will just be one big chunk of blab!

So basically, I'm very influenced by events that happen in my life as I'm an emotional person. I'm not going to go into details about what happened but it was bad and thankfully I have amazing people in my life who I can talk to and actually cry in front of! I'm also good at hiding my emotions in front of people who I don't want to know what I'm feeling. At this time I was taking my inhaler every day! So bad, I think the stress brought it on which is never fun. So after having this downer of about a week, I was sick of it and actively made a decision to cheer up and listen to some teaching. I can actually be quite wise at times, surprisingly! In my journal the last paragraph says, "I have to choose love and peace. Can't just expect it to come naturally especially in difficult situations." Like seriously for me being a right wee weirdo at times that's pretty sensible! To be honest, I get annoyed easily and tied up emotionally in things, I need to learn to let go and just go with the flow sometimes. This next year is going to be so challenging and amazing I can't wait for it to begin! Don't get me wrong I'm going to miss home for 7 weeks but really this is one of the best opportunities I'm going to get to go out and just leave my sometimes selfish tendencies behind. I'm going to just give it my everything and make a bunch of new friends who all have the same faith as I do!

Onto a different subject, I got my A level results... BBC! Cannot believe it! I'm now in the process of applying for university in 2013, I'm applying for 2 courses in social work and youth and community work so fingers crossed someone wants to have me :) Working with people is my passion and I really want to be working with young people or children because it's in me to do it! Don't get me wrong I love my music and dance but as a job, wow I'd love to be working with people! Actually helping people! Getting far too excited here haha!

I'm going to end this blog here as it's getting a bit long and babbily! :)

Charlotte :3

My days... :)

So today and yesterday have been very good! :)

Yesterday I went up to Stiff Kitten bar to see about a job at Belsonic, so did like 50 other people. Wow. Didn't expect that at all! They said that the people at the front of the queue had been waiting since 1:30, baring in mind it was like 3:00 ish so Leah and I decided to leave and go get something to eat at Nandos! I flipping love the pitas at Nandos, they are unreal, have to have garlic sauce with them of course! So after this we went to meet Lewis, one of Leah's friends, lovely boy and rather funny! So after this we went to the cinema in Dundonald and oh my days it's huge and cheaper than Bangor cinema. Same company but apparently it can be cheaper... :/ Anyway, we went to see the new Batman... EPIC! That is the only way to describe that movie, seriously epic. Tom Hardy is an amazing actor with a lot of scope! Cannot believe the different roles he can play! Very handsome as well, may I add ;) After this, Leah and I collected Hannah from her house and chilled with Lewis and one of his friends for a wee while! Hannah then wanted to get her chinese so I dropped her home then drove to meet some more of Leah's friends but I know Brett and Connor already. I don't think I've laughed so much in ages! Brett playfully slapped Leah in the face and she made the most ridiculous noise that just made me errupt, took about 10 minutes for me to recover and my abs were aching so bad after the laughing fit! It was amazing to be able to laugh like that again because I wasn't having a very good week until yesterday. Taekwondo helped too! I love how exercise can just cheer you up and get you going for the day, it's so simple to just go to the gym yet 1/2 the time I can't be bothered but when I do go I always love it and feel energized afterwards!

Today wasn't eventful at all but it was still good! I gave my brother and his friend Max a lift to their hostel in Belfast as Max isn't from here so Phil is going to show him around Belfast! :) After that I haven't done anything apart from chill in the house and play some Skyrim. I started a new character as a Wood Elf because the Imperial wasn't really suiting what I wanted to do! It's a waste of a level 13 character but oh well! Wood Elf is good at archery and pickpocketing so it's good for being in thieves guild! If you don't know Skyrim then you've probably lost interest/ have no idea what I'm going on about! I love it! Soo good! Going to build up this character (her name is Gala) until my brother goes away, so I have about a month to build her up to her best haha!

Much happiness and smiles,

Charlotte :3

Learning from myself!

Every so often, I find myself upset by things that are clearly just little silly things in the grand scheme of things. I've learned over the past wee while that nothing is too big or too little for God. I have to catch myself when I'm in that moment of anger, self annoyance or just being sad. I have to make an active effort to tell God what's up and then read the Bible where I know I'll find the answers to my problems and I always come out being like, "you know what, it's not that bad. I just need to sort it out." God's dealt with it in my head and it's all good now. I had one of these tonight. Totally just babbled to my best friend Leah about it and while it helps to babble to a friend about your problems or what you're randomly feeling upset about, God is always the ultimate person to go to.

As I was reading the Bible, I was just guided towards Ephesians and I love Paul's letters, they're just fabulous but tonight Ephesians 4 offered some epic advice to me just what I needed, here's the verses:

• God wants us to grow up, to know the whole truth and tell it in love - like Christ in everything.
• But that's no life for you. You learned Christ! 
• Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry - but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life. 
• Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

You could actually meld all of those together and it would be sound advice that makes sense. I can't help but sometimes think I can't be made to feel better about certain things, I doubt God's strength sometimes and I'm not afraid to admit that because I'm always proven wrong, hopefully I've learned this time and I'm definitely growing in faith as I go though more hardships and good times. Making effort to go to God about stuff is part of my growth instead of going into myself and doing stupid things like not eating or not leaving my bed for days on end, its happened before and it's not going to happen again because I've finally discovered that I can change it. Nothing is too big for God. He's not some distant 'thing' that is too big for me to talk to, He's my dad that gives me hugs when I need them, and solid (sometimes difficult to take) advice when I need it and is always there for me to talk to. He loves me unconditionally and I'm His, I'm in His hands... He's got me.

Love and hugs,

Charlotte :3

Starbucks!

Okay so I made a list of what I wanted to do with my life today and one of them was to go to coffee by myself. I'm here! I'm actually at coffee by myself!

Now if you know me, you know that I don't really go anywhere by myself and this is actually quite a big step for me to be coming out by myself with my laptop and just typing a blog. I actually wasn't sure if I would be able to do a blog on my laptop in here because it said BT Openzone and that usually means you need to use your own BT password and username to get to the internet and I don't know my one... oops. But according to Starbucks that isn't the case so this is what I'm doing.

So my experience so far has been quite pleasant actually, no weird looks or anything. I must look like I'm doing something of importance because I was reading some papers about my university course for next year, needed to find out more before I actually made the choice to do the course and now I'm typing on a laptop probably looking like I'm thinking quite a lot. I also have a bucket of tea! Like, seriously, it's flipping huge!

So here's the list that I made, wee intsagram picture of last nights motivation business. Still need to do half of it but hey, coffee is a start!

Love from Starbucks,

Charlotte :3

Living it out

So currently I'm sitting at groomsport or donaghadee (don't know which) just listening to the waves. Appreciating what's here. Yes I'm by myself, needed a wee drive to think and sometimes it's nice to be by yourself. Occasionally cars drive past but it's mostly just me and the waves. I did take a picture but you can't see anything and I don't think I can put pictures in on my phone anyway, but it's nice sitting here just enjoying the sound of the waves. I need to sleep so I'll head off now, hope you enjoy your place as much as I do mine.

Charlotte :3